Not when I didn’t ask for it, minded my own business and they come to me, looking for trouble.

In first trimester, I was throwing up nonstop. Right when I wake up, before a meal, during a meal, after a meal, while driving, while listening to music, even light reading sent me flying to the toilet to hurl, and the nauseous feeling never went away until when I sleep at night. I was also very tired from the sudden hormonal change (for those who couldn’t imagine what it feels like, it’s like someone strapping weights to your limbs and make you live like this all day) and the hormonal change was also making me weepy and sad.

It was then I first encountered how insensitive people can be. To this day, this person, who was one of my closest friends, still thinks he’s right, removed me from his friends list on Facebook and even complained to another friend about my behavior towards him and to quote him, “Why can’t I be more like his other friends.”

We were chatting online, and he asked how I was doing. I told him I had been vomiting nonstop. I said, “I vomit even after a meal, etc etc” and instead of being sympathetic, he made fun of me by saying, “Well, at least you have a lot of things to (an emoticon of vomitting).”

I was so miserable then, and his comment flared me up. To him, it’s very funny to have a friend who vomited nonstop, and was miserable. What if the tables were turned? What if he’d had diarrhea for WEEKS and all he can feel is sleep, eat, walk, talk diarrhea? Would he find me funny if I poked fun at him saying, “At least your asshole is loose now.”

Would he find it funny then?

I told him to fuck off.

Being the “good boy” type and never had someone curse at him before, he stomped off into the righteous sunset, complaining about my “out-of-line behavior” to another friend. I found out later that he’d said other things like why can’t I be like his other friends and be nice to him? Well, I have news for you. I’m me. I’m not your other friends, and I never will be. Nobody is the same, and not everyone finds you funny. Personally I find you offensive, and rude.

He removed me from his friends list on Facebook during the second trimester. That cut deeply too. To me, it felt like as if he thinks he’s still right, and that I’m wrong.

The good news is, I don’t need a friend like him who can’t even be supportive and had the nerve to complain to other people about me. I don’t like backstabbing. It just shows what a coward you are, and that you’re never going to grow up. You’re just a little, insecure boy who runs off crying the moment someone points out what you’re doing wrong. You can’t even handle it when people get angry with you. What do you expect? That I just smile and accept your insult then without complaining?

Sorry, I thought your first mistake is being immature. Your first mistake is actually being stupid.

———

Now I’m heading off into third trimester and actually found out, that, yes, people ARE stupid. Not everyone, some are wonderful and supportive - they’re actually happy for you and have nothing negative to say to make you feel lousy or down.

There are some, however, that have no brain whatsoever that I wondered how they even function, being as stupid as they are.

Starting from 4th to 11th July, I had random, middle aged women who are strangers to me come up to me asking me when I’m due, then follow up by a “Oh, you’re getting fatter now” comment. One woman, who’s the owner of Full House at RH Plaza (I have a full satisfaction of saying who you are and your shop) actually said to me that I’m “getting fatter and uglier because I’m carrying a boy” when I went up to the counter to pay. Just like that. A customer came to your shop, ate your food, came to pay, and you insult her? When basically this is the second time I’d come to your shop?

Really?!

I must mention that this was during the beginning of said week, so I did not have a good comeback for these kind of people. I was mostly shocked some would be this hurtful. By now I’m already numb, rubbed raw and fucked up mentally so I’m going to rant here and say what I really wanted to say to that dumb bitch for making me feel so horrible afterwards, I cried all the way home.

So here’s the deal, bitch. You’re a mother of two children, right? Are you fucking retarded for saying this to 1) your customer and 2) when you’re a mother yourself? And where on earth did you come up with that flawless logic that just because I’m carrying a boy, that I am certainly ugly? Do you gain some sadistic satisfaction from saying that to pregnant women because you yourself looked so horribly misshapen, bloated and as ugly as a shitface when YOU were pregnant? And I feel sorry for your children for having such a mean-spirited, brainless mother. They don’t deserve you.

And needless to say, I’m never coming back to your shop again. I heard that you also offended a lot of people when you had your Full House shop behind Informatics at 3rd Mile a few years back, so obviously you’re the type of person who are too stupid to learn from her mistakes. Whatever. It’s your funeral.

——–

That particular week repeated in the same way, horror after horror. Every. Single. Day. To this day, I still don’t believe it. By the second week, I wake up every day (and still do) angry and on edge, defensive and bitchy. I’m fucked up mentally now.

My fuse is so short, that if you say the wrong thing to me, or even look at me funny, you’re dead meat.

I never looked for trouble with these strangers. Being women, you would have thought that these people are more sympathetic towards their own gender, are nicer and kinder to another pregnant woman. But no. Instead they were so petty and mean. To the rest of you who said I’m fatter or just plain fat, I have a few words for you too. After all this is a rant post, right?

If you have nothing nice to say, shut the fuck up. I don’t need you to tell me I’m fatter, I have something called a mirror at home. As if having stretch marks and an ever-expanding hip, uncomfortable sleep at night and constant tiredness ARE NOT ENOUGH for you fucktards. Who the fuck do you think you are? You’re also brainless for saying this kind of thing to a pregnant woman, or at least, you have no filter between your brain and your mouth. And what do you expect? I’m pregnant, not fat - if you go to school you will learn that it’s natural for a woman’s ribs to be pushed out to accommodate a growing baby. Being pregnant is a beautiful and wondrous thing, and you make it sound like I should look like Kate Moss/Cindy Crawford/Tiara Banks/Gisele Bunchen. Of course I got bigger! If not I should be smaller? How stupid are you?

By the way, while I was on the war path, I had people telling me about the many reasons why people act this way. I’ve heard them all. Jealousy, pettiness, wanting to be part of the pregnancy, having nothing to say. I’ve. Heard. It. All. But these reasons didn’t even cool my flames down. I wanted these fuckers to hurt - I’m not interested in why they’re doing it. Not anymore. What’s the point when these people still go on with their lives not knowing that they’ve hurt you? Where’s the fucking justice in that?

And for you who are reading this and you’d said this kind of things to other people before, shame on you. Congratulations, you’ve fulfilled your purpose on this earth to be a pest to other people and make them miserable, you sadistic bastards. I hope one day you’ll get your comeuppance. Three fold. It’s the law of karma.

————-

I posted on facebook a question, a plea to friends and ask them, “How do you tell disrespectful people off without being disrespectful yourself?”

A friend answered, “I have an easy solution! Just pretend nothing happened.”

I’m speechless. I suddenly had a flashback of the weeks I’d cried nonstop to sleep, feeling so miserable and sad for being pregnant instead of being happy like I should be, and feeling like the world is upside down and generally fucked up.

I was rubbed raw and so fucking tired of being scarred over and over again. Yes, I did not misspell that. It’s scarred with two R’s, not scared with one R. I’m so tired and sick of people not taking me seriously and joke inappropriately when I’m physically and mentally tired. Lately I’d been on a downward spiral into depression (I know the symptoms because I’d taken meds for it) and now I just can’t take it anymore.

My heart and soul are numb, and my spirit weary and sad. Just so tired….

The only thing holding me afloat is the valiant effort of some friends (Thank you Chris and Mag, Alison and Daryl, Ngee Jee and Jackie, Melvin Ngumbang, Francis Ho, Cuthbert Chia, Samuel Goh, Eileen Sun, Grace Tan, and Joe Korsak. Merv Kwok and Michelle Ho for inquiring about my wellbeing) my parents and last but not least, my husband Jee Foong for talking me out of it at times. Your efforts made me feel better, even for a short while. A small reprieve. Like a gulp of air after being submerged for so long, my lungs ached for air.

Only these people are supportive. Only these people know the right thing to say, being kind and nice. The rest didn’t even bother to reach out. It’s sad, but at least… the others give me a small ray of hope, which gives me reason to exist. Better than nothing.

There is no straightforward way for this. In order to get the best price, lowest shipping quote and the shortest amount of time in order to get your goods, you need to consider a few avenues to source your items.

But first! Ladies, before you make any purchase unseen online, do your homework first and peruse makeupalley.com. You need to join as a member first before you can read the contents. Basically, it’s a place where you can find out honest to goodness reviews from real people like you and me. You can search for items, sort by popularity, and from there, find out what is the best in each category and which ones will suit you. I’ve had 80% success rate from it - the remaining 20%… well, it didn’t work out. I make sure to contribute back to the community by leaving reviews for others as well. When you’ve decided on what you want to buy… search for that item.

Ebay
Also affectionately known as flea-bay, Ebay is a great place to look for discontinued, hard to find items or items you wish to purchase in ones and twos. Not a whole lot there, you just want a few. Shop around, look into Seller’s Other Items and maybe save on shipping by combining your items into a package if you buy multiple items from the same seller. Contact them when you’re unsure about combined shipping - don’t assume they’ll automatically grouped together. I wish that Ebay will make some kind of search engine to search for multiple different items, to see which seller has BOTH or more items instead of doing all the manual work ourselves. :)

Online stores
There are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many stores, that if you’re new to this you’ll get a headache. But I can promise you - as long as you have the time and the love to shop, you’ll enjoy this task. I don’t claim to know every single online stores out there but I can list down some of the ones I love to get from.

drugstore.com/beauty.com: These two sites are linked. In drugstore.com, there is a VAST amount of things you can get - it resembles the Guardians and Watsons you know and love. Only bigger.

cherryculture.com: Cherryculture frequently has sales and this is one of the places you can source for the famous NYX brand.

nonpareilboutique.com: nonpareilboutique started out as an Ebay seller, before creating its own store and exploded in popularity. This is another store that sells NYX brand as well, and now the current hype - Wet N Wild cosmetics. The Wet N Wild Color Icon palette in Lust has been sold out frequently!

sephora.com: If you have extra cash to burn, come to Sephora. It’s mind boggling, the amount of stuffs you can find here. I like to buy Bare Escentuals Minerals and Shu Uemura eyelash curler here. It’s also very up-to-date with the latest limited edition releases, so check it out if you’re lemming for something new and LE.

Amazon.com: Not exactly known for cosmetics per se, but here you can find really odd things. If you can’t find whatever you want elsewhere, chances are you can find them here. However, Amazon ships only DVD, CDs, VCDs, and books to Malaysia.

Okay… I’ve listed pretty much all the places I like to haunt. As you can see, some sites ship internationally, some pose restrictions and some flat out refuse to do business with the rest of the world. What is a girl to do?!

Spree it in.

First, a caveat: Spree is not the cheapest method around. However I recommend this method because it’s the most reliable. Your item(s) will get here, guaranteed.

Currently in Stuff For the Ladies forum on Lowyat, there are a few reliable spreers, each with different attributes and each with their own set of spree rules and sites they are currently spreeing. Some people think that spreers bring in whatever they want, whenever they want. That’s not really how sprees work, although there is a special service for that.

A spreer (or Spree Organizer) will “open” a website (you’ll never know when they do this so you need to stay on top of things, or ask them directly) and when they do, this means you can now order from that particular site. They will usually open a few at a time. The best advice I can give you for each spreer is: READ THE FIRST PAGE. I frequently come across people who ask questions that are already answered on the first page, like when can you expect the items to arrive, where to bank in, etc.

Usually everything you need to know are answered already. In this post however, I will provide a general outline of how you can deal with these spreers, or how to go about doing it.

1) Find out what are the open sprees, or websites you can order from. Go to those websites, browse, pick whatever you want. Please note the spree cap and when the spree will close to avoid last minute orders.

2) This is an important etiquette: Because spreers are often busy, please be courteous and paste in direct links to items you want, as opposed to just listing names of items you wish to buy and providing no direct links to them. Provide details too, like shades and sizes. Oh, and no PM-ing them, lowyat’s PM system is notoriously small and imagine with the volume of orders that come in, there’s simply no space for everyone! Just go to the spreer’s thread and post there. It’s okay to have a mix of different sites. And it’s okay to order just a single item. :D

3) Be patient. Spreers will get back to you, usually in one to three days. Don’t keep badgering them, even though they’ll still be nice to you. :) They will not PM you directly, so check back the thread often. Here’s a tip. A lot of people don’t check everyday, so when you go back to check, click back a few pages and search for your name (CTRL+F) because the spreer will quote your name when they answer your post.

4) If you need something urgently, some spreers have a Personal Shopper service or Buy For Me service, which specifically caters for individuals who wish to purchase what they want NOW, instead of waiting for spreer to open it. Turnaround time is around 2 weeks, depending on the spreer. For this service you have to pay local U.S. shipping fees. This service is up to the discretion of the spreer to accept or reject. They only reject if the website looks questionable or suspicious, or if the item you’re ordering is not allowed to be brought into Singapore (like agricultural products, tobacco, etc) or not allowed to be shipped via Air (aerosol spray bottles, etc).

5) Confirm. You need to let them know what you want to get, and what you don’t want. Quote their reply to you (including your list of orders) and tell them you want them. This is also where you choose your postage options. If you reach a certain amount, you might qualify for free registered or Poslaju shipping, or if you don’t, you must foot the shipping cost yourself. Please note I’m referring to the shipping cost from the spreer to you, not U.S. shipping. The first page often has this information.

6) Once you confirmed, and you know the full total which is (Quoted Price + Local Shipping) - bank in. Information for banking should be available on first page as well.

7) If this is your first time dealing with this particular spreer, leave your address. Again, this information is also available on the first page.

8) Wait. Turnaround time for most sprees bar complications is around 4 weeks. Before you balk at the long wait, this is actually very reasonable. USPS First Class Mail from the U.S. will also take as long (if not longer) and sometimes you don’t even receive them (yes Pos Malaysia, I’m looking at you!) and in sprees, you have the security of knowing your items will get here.

9) Thank the spreer after you received your items! It’s good to let them know that you’ve gotten your stuffs safe and sound, and this lets others know the spreer is trustworthy as well.

That’s it. Sometimes you might come across unfortunate events like OOS items (Out Of Stock) - spreer will usually update everything on first page and you can see your own order and what happened to it there. In the event of OOS, credit will kept in store. You can ask for refund if you wish.

There are few spreers on lowyat.net forum who are reputable, honest and efficient. I wish I can list them all here but I’d only tried two so I can only recommend them.

sgdrugstore.com aka Ryan

Ryan is a sweetheart. :) He’s currently studying in university and juggling a successful spree business at the same time, ferrying between Singapore and Johor throughout the week. I notice that he usually answers/quotes every 2-3 days, and never on Sundays (I think!) he does answer on Sundays sometimes! And he tends to answer everyone in one bulk message. Very easy to find!

He’s professional and efficient, and his First Page is always up-to-date and informative. I love the way he ships his packages - everything is wrapped so securely with bubble wrap, even eyeshadows are safe! His Buy For Me (BFM) service will usually take 2 weeks. And I found another review of him online:

http://www.skindeco.net/2009/01/seller-review-sgdrugstore-from.html

Also, his drugstore.com spree NEVER, EVER CLOSES. *lol* Then again, so is the next spreer’s…

MalaysianBeautyStore aka Gonzalesgirl aka Rowena (Phew!)
Note 17th July 2010: Gonzalesgirls’ MalaysianBeautyStore disappeared from LowYat a few weeks ago, and Rowena had been trying to reinstate her thread by working with the mods. No news on that front, but she’s now officially opening her own forum:
forum.malaysianbeautystore.com

Rowena is both a spreer and a beauty consultant. It’s an interesting experience for me because I didn’t know what I can ask or can’t in the beginning. :D But you can ask her anything beauty related! From some free-time browsing, I discovered that some of her clients ask for opinions regarding which colors will suit them, how’s the quality of a product, what item is a dupe of something else… (dupe means almost exact or exact copy, usually for cheap!). For myself, I asked her how to shrink pores. :D She recommended me to use Queen Helene’s Mint Julep Mask twice a week, and I followed her advice. True enough, my pores have shrunk! :) Very happy about that.

She is also very professional and efficient. Her turnaround time is the same as Ryan’s. There’s also nothing to complain from the way she wraps her packages - they are all so secure! You need a very sharp pair of scissors when opening both Ryan and Rowena’s packages. :D

I notice that she answers/quotes every few days as well (less predictable for me because I don’t check as often) and here’s the thing: she answers in batches. Don’t be worried when you see her answer and you’re not among them. She quotes in a first come/first serve basis and will eventually come around to yours.

————-

So if these two are so great, how do you choose between them? There is nothing really to choose between them, as they’re both equally great to work with and both are dependable and nice people. For myself, I choose based on my needs. Their sprees are mostly different from each other’s, so if I’d always wanted to buy from a particular website and one of them opens it, I jump at the chance, and at the same time, maybe get a thing or two from another spree they’re opening as well just to save on shipping. By default though, I tend to gravitate towards Ryan. He’s the first one I tried and he’s been so good to me, and I find myself buying from him more often.

One last thing: both of them usually have formulas to calculate prices. Use them as an estimate, as ultimately, the quoted price they give you will be final. It’s just off by a cent or two! :D These formulas are found on the spree post. For example, if you’re buying from drugstore.com, scroll down the first page to find its dedicated post. You’ll find it there.

I suggest try them both out and see which one you prefer. Sometimes it’s just your thing, you know? ;)

IF you find that the website you want is not open in either of these two, do a search on the Stuff For The Ladies forum and you’ll probably get a hit or two. Just be careful and exercise common sense, as always. :)

That’s it… any questions just shoot a comment below. :) Happy Spreeing!

I was also terrified back then. Not terrified of being a mother, but of labor pains. It’s almost inevitable to talk about birth and pregnancy and NOT have it end up like some kind of a scene from a horror movie. Have you ever heard about the test they did on dogs by ringing a bell followed by a meal daily and one day just ring the bell and don’t bring the food? The dogs salivated anyway. It’s called conditioning. If you’re being told one thing over and over, you’ll start believing it too.

Labor became synonymous with pain. Lotsa and lotsa pain. Like OMGsomeonekillmenowandit’sallyourfuckingfault pain.

But after a while I began accepting that yes, one day we want to have a child and in order for that to happen, I need to get pregnant. And after being pregnant what follows immediately? Delivery. I began to accept the fact that I might have to scream bloody murder in the delivery room.

Last December on the 24th, after a particularly lovely Christmas Eve buffet at Merdeka Palace, we found out the news: I’m pregnant. I had missed my period by a week and was getting a weird feeling about it. Like this is it feeling. Mother’s intuition? Maybe.

That moment will forever be embedded in my mind - with the stick in hand, I watched as the urine flowed to the other side and revealed a plus sign. Pregnant. I am really pregnant. My first reaction was shock. I couldn’t be! We had been trying for six months and suddenly we stopped worrying about it and there it was! In that single second as I stared at the stick, Jee on the other side of the door waiting for me (impatiently) - a million thoughts crossed my mind, but the most overwhelming one of all is how I felt emotionally. I was shocked, elated, in disbelief, terrified, excited,…. I couldn’t breathe.

I was a smoker before. I stopped immediately. It wasn’t a big issue. Suddenly life gave me a HUGE reason to stop, so I did. I’m not saying it was easy, or that I didn’t go through withdrawal, but it just wasn’t an issue.

In the first trimester, I had the dreaded morning sickness, vomiting all around the clock, before and after meals, during teeth brushing, while driving, while listening to music, after reading for more than 5 minutes, or for no apparent reason at all. I would feel nauseous and vomit. We began to pack at least 5 plastic bags in my bag just in case, and I would hurl in the middle of driving, or when we were out and eating. It was the most miserable time I had…. I don’t even know what was keeping me afloat on some days. My growing uterus pressed down on my bladder so I was visiting the loo around 8 times a night. The changing hormones made me lethargic and super tired - like never before.

My moods were also vicious. Hell hath no fury like a woman having morning all day sickness. My tolerance for idiocy were extremely thin at this point and I didn’t even think twice about lashing out.

Around this time, I learned from Jackie and Ngee Jee about Hypnobirthing. It was like as if the sky just opened up and a ray of light shone through - yeah, cheesy - LOL… but it felt that way. Finally! A way to make birth as comfortable as possible. There is a chance that I don’t have to be the statistics of screaming, violently pushing women. We signed up immediately and booked Ginny at Four Trimesters in Singapore.

As for the first ultrasound… nothing can describe it. I reckon all ultrasounds will be like that, but there’s something magical about the first ultrasound, when I first set my eyes on our baby on the screen. It was active, moving around incessantly, healthy and normal as can be.

Jee wasn’t faring any better. That look of wonder, of pride, of joy. I really don’t mean to make this sound sooooo cheesy, guys. And we thought we were the un-cheesiest people ever, but look at us! A wee baby turned us into dairy products. I will soon be one too - what with breastfeeding and all.

By the second scan, we were just so shocked to see our baby so big. The one main theme I can say about this pregnancy is just how fast things can develop. I began to show other common (but not enjoyable) signs of pregnancy - like my hair gets oily so fast, I can squeeze some out for you to cook if you want to. Just give me a day. Constipation is another one, and I made sure to eat muesli every day to keep things flowing. TMI? Sorry, everything about pregnancy is TMI, so you might as well stop reading. I began to get leg cramps in the middle of the night, but in my case it’s thankfully mild - or I just know how to handle it better. Instead of clenching your muscles even more in pain, just relax, breathe and slowly stretch your legs out. It’ll go away faster.

By the second trimester, my all day sickness had passed and my appetite increased. Much to my disappointment, I did not experience a lot of cravings. I eat a lot of bread, yes… but it’s not like “I want it now!” kinda thing. Perhaps Hollywood had skewed another reality for us - a woman waking her husband in the middle of the night asking for, oh I don’t know - durian? Ais kacang? Pickled beef?

I was denied the fun, sadly. LOL! It’ll be hilarious to see Jee trying to find a place that sells pickled beef at 3am. If pickled beef exists.

Around this time, we flew to Singapore to attend the Hypnobirthing classes. Ginny is uber-busy, but friendly and approachable. I’m in awe of her, actually - for being one of the strongest women I know, as I’d been following some of her blog posts and know, to a certain extent, what she’d been through. Meeting her though, and talking to her you never get the sense that she’d been through so much. She remains down to earth, and while we were there, learned truckloads from her. I think I asked so many silly questions but she was gracious to entertain them all.

Also by second trimester, the books advise that you don’t sleep flat out on your back any more, as the weight of the baby will bear down on major vein that returns blood from your legs to your heart. I usually sleep on my front, so it wasn’t a problem at first until now, the start of third trimester. When you sleep on either side of your body all night, you’re bound to get backache.

I didn’t appreciate second trimester fully until I got to third trimester. There’s 3 more months to go, and I’m already antsy.

This is my belly today. By now, a lot of people can tell the sex of the baby just by looking at it. It’s weird, but they are ALL correct! I guess opening a casino is out the window for me, as I’m sure to lose money to all these people who can win easily at my tables.

Here are some of the things they told me:
1. My nose is bigger than pre-pregnancy size.
2. My belly is “sharp” - you can’t tell I’m pregnant just by looking at me from behind or from the front but the bulge is most evident from the side.
3. An older gentleman in Singapore noted that I have more aggressive movements.

Well? Are they true? *shrugs* All of them guessed that our baby is a boy correctly, though.

Oh… one more thing. Baby is also kicking quite hard nowadays. Last night Jee and I spent a few mesmerized minutes watching my belly wobble. So freakin’ cute! LOL!

Jee and I are bonding with our baby every chance we get - he does listen and respond and that is the most wonderful feeling in the world. A couple of times he got agitated about noise, kicking and rolling around restlessly. Once was in a crowded and noisy restaurant, and another when a toilet door closed too loudly. I talked to him, soothing him and explaining what was going on outside or what caused that noise, and told him not to worry or be afraid. And he would quiet down almost immediately. Ah-mahhh-zing… *big goofy grin*

Choosing his name was pretty easy, thankfully. For our own reasons, I do not wish to discuss about his names here except that his name is Marcus and we want to thank Alison and Daryl for choosing his middle name. :)

There are just so many other things I can talk about here, like trying to find a post-natal caregiver (common in Asian cultures), breastfeeding worries or unbelievably thick-headed people who offer unwanted advices; but no, not now. Maybe next time. :)

I know, I know. The last post was on 17th July 2009. 2009!! Yikes. So much has changed since then and although I know most people prefer facebooking to reading blogs now, from now until February next year I’ll be updating.

Initially I planned for this blog to die when domain renewal was coming up by just deleting it… but before I had a chance to do that the charge came through and the domain was once again renewed for another year. My hosting expires on February 2011 so that’s when this blog will truly die.

Why do I decide to blog now, after being absent for more than half a year? I don’t know… facebook is great and all, but you can’t share a lot at one go like a blog can. I have so many big things happening and sometimes, I want a place to share… and this is where I can do so freely without worrying about spamming people’s facebook page. :) Plus, facebook is friends only… and some of my friends don’t understand my love for fountain pens, for example. I would post something enthusiastic and get no response. It can get pretty disheartening. Isn’t it better to just post here and let like-minded people find and enjoy it?

So yeah… from now on, I expect a lot of updates just to get the build-up out of the way. I don’t care if no one reads it, it’ll be for my own cathartic purposes. If you’re reading this and want to see what I have been up to, then please stick around. :)

I’d expected them to change a lot of things, but I did not expect the movie to be so painful to watch. The book is vibrant, full of funny characters, lively characters. Somehow the actors in HP and the Half Blood Prince fall flat in their performances. During the entire duration of the movie, it felt like attending a funeral. The acting was wooden, the expressions all remain the same and even jokes fall flat on the floor with a loud splat.

I’d followed the movie franchise from beginning to end, heck I even watched the premiere of this movie. This says a lot about how much I love HP, and even its actors. I even remember Daniel Radcliffe in the first installment and he was brilliant. He was full of wonderment, happiness at finding his true calling and curious about his world. I could see that.

But in this one? No. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even manage to chuckle at their supposedly “funny” scenes. Lavender was a hoot, and her performance was by far the best in the movie. If an extra acted better than the main cast, what does it say about the movie?! I wanted that kind of enthusiasm, that kind of acting, like Lavender from the rest. I agree that the books get progressively darker but the movie does not have to be so grim. It is still a brilliant and interesting world, after all.

In fact, it was so dull, so boring, that several people in front of me left before the first half of the movie and the guy behind me actually fell asleep and snored! Loudly!

To my horror, I couldn’t defend my fascination and love for the series. I had to concede that it was just awful, and it was made worse since the movie was extended from December last year to July 2009. The wait was definitely NOT worth it.

On top of that, they failed to show Dumbledore telling Harry the possibility of having seven Horcruxes lying around. They failed to mention the Gaunt family. They failed to show Voldemort’s history, as Albus Dumbledore observed. They failed to show what other Horcruxes might be. And Harry wasn’t supposed to stand aside and let Snape and the rest of the Death Eaters corner Dumbledore at the top of the astronomy tower like that. Harry is brave. He would’ve jumped right into the thick of things and take down as many freaking Death Eaters as possible. In the book, he was Petrified, hidden underneath his Invisibility Cloak. Dumbledore used the last precious second for the dual purpose of saving his life and letting Snape do what he must do. I mean, I had to scoff at the scene Draco said Expelliarmus and disarmed Dumbledore. Now that, is an insult. Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time, and, weakened or not, he couldn’t even block Draco’s spell? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

I had expected Harry to scream, Harry to cry in anguish, Harry to show more hatred towards Snape. But no. His face was a blank mask of disbelief and he cried a little. No screaming. And the epic battle I was anticipating at the end did not happen. The Death Eaters fled with no resistance. *holds palms up in bewilderment* And, here’s the thing I don’t understand. As Dumbledore’s body lay prone on the grass, still as the night above them, the only thing the students and teachers could do then was solemnly acknowledge Dumbledore’s passing.

Hello?! Did you guys EXPECT him to die or something? I was expecting confusion, uproar, bewilderment, people asking, “What happened?! Dumbledore’s dead!” but no, they lifted their lit wands in unison towards the sky as a mark of respect. WHAT. THE. HELL?!

And Harry and Ginny’s kiss. Oh dear, the kiss. *sigh* It was supposed to be in full view of everybody, supposed to be of Ginny with blaze in her eyes, but in the movie she just looked… sad. Huh. And in the room of requirement too, of all places! And it showed no relationship whatsoever between them. Just a kiss. And a comfort besides Dumbledore’s dead body.

So yes, major disappointment. They deviated from the book, fine… but they made it dull (unforgivable!) and they made it senseless. Doesn’t make sense. No logic at all. And that’s worse.

Dear god… I hope Twilight New Moon isn’t a sacrilege too.

I was laughing the whole time… when the barber “snipped” so close to my head I literally cringed away, and jumped when the barber “whispered” in my ear. It’s really mesmerizing. :)

To my utmost surprise, I found myself addicted to Twitter. It’s…. I don’t know, but somehow it makes me wanna say something, as opposed to staring at an intimidating blank Add New Post on Wordpress. I almost wanted to switch entirely to Twitter and fuck blogging.

Hold your horses. I said almost.

Where do longer ramblings like this one go when I feel the inclination?

And fuck me, I can’t update Twitter via my cell. Damn it.

Carl, when are you gonna get yourself a Twitter account?

Anyway, I got a few things to share.

Osama tweets! *biggest silly grin ever*

Milk Toofs. Fucking. Cutest. Things. EVER! *snuggles them*

This year’s So You Think You Can Dance is fierce!! A lot of them are practically unknowns at the moment, and we’re still at the getting-to-know-them stage, but from what I can see they’re dancing real hard like it’s their last time on stage.

I feel worried for Brandon and Phillip because they’re early favorites, and while that might be a good thing, it also puts a lot of pressure on them. Not fair, guys. NOT. FAIR. Case in point: Mia bashing Brandon. I love Mia, I really do, but it’s not right to expect so much from Brandon when you’re clearly not judging other dancers so harshly. Maybe Mia doesn’t connect with him, and I get that, but she said, “I recognize there’s talent there but I don’t think it’s all cracked up whatever everyone’s saying you’re amazing. I don’t see it.” So she already had some preconceived notion on how great this Brandon is. At this point they’re all still raw, and they have so much to learn and grow. I’ll say Brandon is better than some of the other Top 20 men. *shrugs* Just my two cents.

Phillip, I adore. I seriously, hopelessly adore him. Crazy talented.

And I also adore Kayla - she’s a quick study and it’s obvious she loves to dance. And she has the most soulful gray eyes ever. Such a beautiful shade! That Samba number with Max was just… nghhh. *shivers* Powerful and sexy.

End ramble. ;)

OK, not me. Jee did - but I really love this lens already. Big aperture, so I can shoot at relatively high shutter speed with my damn shaky hands. *slaps the stupid hands* And it’s AWESOME for low lighting, something we’d been wishing for since we bought our camera with kit lens.

Oh, word of the wise for those who live in Kuching and wanna buy this lens. Don’t buy locally. We asked around and not only is it more expensive, they don’t have it on stock and you have to wait about a week or heck, maybe even a month. Buy it online - Shashinki.com or yamiya.com.my.

Some pictures taken as a test drive with it. Sorry, I know… there are lots of kitty pictures. They’re the most willing participant(s) we can find.

Not a good picture, but showcases how this lens can handle being in low lighting. This is real life - that’s Zoe on my bed in the morning, and the curtain is always almost closed completely.

Zoe again. This time in our semi-dark closet hall. It was actually darker than this.

And now… these are some stray kittens a mama cat always brings to my mother in law’s house. This mama cat is funny - she goes to their sundry shop to catch mice in her afternoon shift, then disappears. Every single day. And now mama cat knows where my mother in law lives so she comes often to beg for food, bringing her entourage of fluffy kittens in her wake.

Here’s mama cat. She looks stoned. *LOL*

Playing with mama cat’s tail.

Stalking closer…

Just relaxing in the hot afternoon. The hard cement floor is a cool reprieve.

While pondering about the meaning of life.

This shot is completely blurred and such, but Jee insisted he loves it. I guess sometimes a bit of blurriness is a nice change from tack sharp photos all the time. And yes, furious little kitty was hissing at me.

Have you noticed how freakin’ hot it is nowadays?!!! Three cold showers a day is MANDATORY!

Download Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=bb636bf398385db16e7203eb87368129e04e75f6e8ebb871

Video is 480p. I have 720p for whoever wants it, and if you do, just ask and I’ll upload it for you.

Edward really looks tortured most of the time and I’m disappointed that they didn’t at least show his ‘ghost’ admonishing Bella whenever she did something stupid, and of course the infamous Italian scene, but as they’d just finished shooting that a few days ago it’s highly unlikely it would make it into the trailer. But otherwise, I love it! How could I not? The wolf is rather obvious as CG, though. :\

I really can’t wait for November 20th!

On another note, this week has been DISASTROUS. I’m some kind of magnet for trouble lately without even trying. After getting my car back to patch an accident dent and scratches just earlier this week, yesterday I reversed right into my house’s pillar and made another HUGE dent on the driver’s side. And well, you know, I just got my car fixed on the opposite side, the passenger’s side. Then today I wore a brand new white shirt and splattered curry all over it. How mortifying!

I don’t know nor understand how the fuck I get into these accidents! This must be some kind of a cosmic joke.